Don't really feel like dancing ballet anymore...

All of the sudden, ballet is boring for me ... I don't know since when i feel that ballet is boring... I think I started to get bored after my latest ballet exam... Its like super bord for me now... I can yawn even when I am dancing!!! Is that cool!? I don't know why... Why? I asked myself many times already... Still no answer... Does that mean that I am going to quit ballet soon? I really feel to quit ballet now... But... Are you sure Low Jun Lee!? No!!! I cannot give up ballet after all this years!!! I still have just 3 more grades to go only!!! Which means it only take me three years!!! Do I really wanna quit!?NO!NO!NO! Okay, Fine... Now... But it is really starting to get bord... I always get sleepy when i dance ballet now... Its like the music which is meant for dancing is a lulaby to me now... Stopping ballet?Quiting ballet? Its really not like me!

Maybe I really have to think properly... Can I really make ballet my future? No... I really cannot make it my future anymore... Yeah, maybe you are right... Maybe ballet is just a hobby to me...

Nowadays, i really hope for a partner... A dancing partner! ;P This is because i feel like dancing Tango or Latin rather than dancing ballet... Ahhh... Imagining me, dancing with my dancing partner, folowing the tempo of the music... wouldn't that be nice?

Sometimes, things will change... People will change... Time can prove to us that things will change...

我爱他还是他？

我不知道我喜欢着的人是谁。我本来是喜欢他的，可是，当我得知他又喜欢的人我的笑得很僵硬，很勉强。。。我的心有一种说不出的感觉。。。当我知道他喜欢的人是我最要好的知己时，我信这一个事实，也不敢去信。。。现在好了，我喜欢他，他者喜欢着她。而她呢？我觉得他又喜欢他。唉，爱情真不简单啊！我是喜欢他的。暗地里喜欢他。。。而他呢？因该没发现吧！？因为她每天只注意她。。。我身边的她却什么都不知道。。。我真希望她能知道然后去珍惜他。。。我呢？我自己又喜欢着谁呢？本来是喜欢着他的。。。却到他又喜欢的女生后却在心痛。。。我都喜欢，我才知道原来我是那么地贪心啊！唉！请原谅我吧！我也不知道几时喜欢上你的。。。但我知道我只小就喜欢上你了。。。可是，都不知道你喜不喜欢我。。。我觉得他是知道我喜欢他的。。。只是，他应该是不喜欢我这一类的女生吧！我喜欢他们两个！我真的都喜欢。。。只是他有了心上人，他呢？好像对我的存在一点都不在乎。。。我喜欢他们两个，尤其是当他们逗弄我小的时候。。。他们可是要知道我是个很少笑的人来的咧！我校智慧对着他还是他笑而已，其他人呢？可是超少的咧！就连对自己的知己也很少咧！我喜欢他们，真的好喜欢他们。。。不知为何？他们逗弄我笑时，我觉得她们都弄我的方式很特别。。。原来他豆弄我的原因这是因为她。。。我失望了！！！很失望！！！彻底的失望！！！彻底地对他失望！！！我的爱情被她拿走了！！！不！正确来说是抢走了！！！他自己却不知道她被人喜欢了！！！算了吧！刘君利！以你那么暴力的‘男人婆’的态度来看绝对没人会看上你的。。。人家喜欢的可是一个又有旗帜，又有美貌，又有淑女形象的女孩子阿！！！

Is this what I want?

I feel lonely at home...
I don't like that kind of feeling...
I am quite sad...
I don't Know how am I going to tell this to my friends...
I don't even know if i shall tell them...
I really don't know if i am happy here...
He fell in love again...
I really don't know what is he thinking..
But i got bad feelings about all this things...
Sad...
He brought her home...
I guess he likes her...
and she also likes her...
I don't know if she really can be... ...
Even she can...
She is cannot be my real... ...
Sigh...
I am pretty sad here...
With my friends not knowing all this...( is also better they don't know)
With Him not knowing my feelings...
If she really is the one he love...
The only thing i can do is accept her...
Life is complicated...
Oh well...
She is good to me...
Good to everyone...
but i don't know why...
I just know that she is not the real one...

I got a feeling that i like him...
But not love...
I don't care anyway...
He is satisfied with me that's all I want...
I am always happy around him...
I just like him...
But not love...
I know him since when I am small...
I like him since small...
But i don't know if that is lovely...
hope is not...
Cuz i really don't want that to happen...

hope parents will noe...

exam is coming in oni 3 revise work by more weeks time!!!
tat is not very long time for me....
it is hard for me to myself....
lucky tat i have join a study group....
gud rite?
haha...
but i have ballet dancing b4 exam...
i mean performance...
tis will affect my studies...
but i really like it!
haixx...
it is hard 2 make disition between thing tat u like n things u muz do....
aniway...
i dun care about my studies although i muz do it....
i will continue study ofcuz...
but i canot stop my likezzz juz bcuz i have 2 do wat i have 2....
i guess i am not wrong....
bcuz....
i have 2 have sum space for doing wat i like rite?
not juz everything i have 2 do....
i hope parents will think like my way instead of....
giving child alot of hw....
ask them revise work everyday....
hope tat parents will give their child a space for wat they like....
u will not noe if they get a gud result on their likezzz instead of studies when they grow up....

Lonely.....

I just knew that actually i am lonely....
no matter who try 2 make me happy is hard...
i dunno how ppl can make me happy....
actually in those laughing, smiling, there are lonely...
all the happiness only lead me 2 sadness... lonely...
is not easy 2 understand me....
unless u are my best friend...
not only best friend...
friend that understand me...
care about me....
make me happy....
know my sadness....
haixx...
it is hard for ppl 2 know me...
ya...
it is hard...
no matter what i do i am still the one which is getting scold...
no matter where... what.... when...
the next step i am going 2 dois always wrong!
wrong!wrong!wrong!
all i do from school to house to ballet....
is always wrong!
at school i help the school so much already...
1 meeting never go only....
the next thing i heard is when u dun have go meting 3 times u will get surat amaran....
wtf!!!
i help u so much say rubbish!
nvm i can threat as noting happen b4...
at home....
i never do anything wrong...
reading my novel is tat wrong!?
scold till crazy....
nvm still can threat like noting happen...
at ballet...
my interest!
i thought tat i will never get scold....
now!?
scold!scold!scold!
haiz...
this is my life!
MY LIFE!
MY INTEREST IS GONE!!!
MY LIFE IS RUINED!!!
scolding ruined my life!!!
i am lonely...
i only now that....
nobody will know what am i thinking....
scince she is gone 4eva i have no life!!!
no life!!!

Exam results...:)?:(?

Yeah! i have finich my exam!!!
NO!!!Teachers are giving exam results...
My result???
err...
nt ok and nt bad...
juz nice...
but i still sad lo of cuz...
bm 43... haizz...
kh 53... haizz....
sej 82!!! yahoo!!! 4 the 1st time i get so high marks 4 sej!!!
geo not good not bad 75 still consider A la...
math hatez... still gt 1 more mark then i can get A edi leh...
bc 61 ok la... still can accept...
bi 93 woohoo!!! tat is high mark... but it is easy so noting 2 b happy about...
science? haizz... still gt 2 more marks then i can pass my teachers boder line...
:( kenna rotan bcuz of the 2 marks...
2 more marks only...:(
actually for me is fine already bcuz mostly are A and B...
but my dad canot accpet this result for sure...:(
aniway i did my best...
the C and D are really hard...
haizz...
my average drop bcuz of the C and D..
:'(

friendship? yes? no?

When i just get back my enimy into good friend again(qing), i realise...
I dun really like Wen that much because...
haix...
Is not that i don't like her is that the way she treat me and sze...
U shall se it,its HORIBLE!!!
She and Shan like best friend like that...
like they are girl friend and boy friend like that...
This is too horrible...
terrible!!!
how can she do such thing in front of us?
now she is only in my friends list...
NOT EVEN THE GOOD FRIEND LIST!!!
But,
things are going to change in a short while...
she is changing school already...
she say if she goes she will never come back to puchong already...
because she is moving to Johor...
So,
if it really hapen i think we better dun fight...
but the way she treat us is really BAD!HORRIBLE!!!TERIBLE!!!
She thinks that i speak secret 2 sze gt problem...
actually i was juz saying tat me and sze go sunway take photo...
but only we 2...
cuz sze treat me as best friend and we know each other scince when i was standard 6!!!
and we know each other better!!!
now...
i only think that friendship is like wasting my time...
but i really need friend that i really can trust...
sze is 1 of the friend i can trust...
BUT...
i only tell certain secerets 2 her...
Xin is the other 1...
i only tells her the secret that i wanna tell her...
different secrets are ment for different people...
Not the same!!!








FRIENDSHIP BOARD!!!^^

BEST FRIEND:Sze...
:Xin...
Good friend :Jen~
Friend:Jack@
:Juene@
:Yee@
:and more!!!




As u can see there is no wen..
wen is at the middle part of my friend list already...
is she is still like tat...
she is going 2 be at the enemies part of my enemies list...

exam so important meh?more important than my life?

exam exam exam...
everyday oso say ur exam no pass no nit go ballet bla bla bla...
i really gt preasure tis way u know!?
u duno never mind...
i read book u oso scold me...
i no read u oso scold...
so i read book oso got rong la...
i very hardworking edi u some more treat me tis way...
i not important 1 rite!?
better i die la...
my sis no read juz the week b4 exam use computer u can let her play 4 almost 3-4 hours...
me?
2 hours scold like wat...
i read book b4 playing my sis leh?
play b4 playing computer...
no wonder wat i say is wrong la...
i noe...
i very useless...
i very stupid...
i very lazy...
sis leh?
i std 4 tat time nt like her so bad...
although i drop class...
but i still when up!
i duno how is my sis going 2 go 4 upsr...
i dun even noe how her upsr going 2 b...
i bigger thn them...
tat means i nit 2 get more scold la?
so tat my sis noe tat reading book is oso a rong thing...
i worry u u scold me...
2 day the whole morning...
i read from 11 am till 2pm rest till 4pm continue read 1 more hour...
JUST SEJARAH!!!
in oder 2 pass...
later at nite still nit 2 read bm...
i really duno how am i going 2 survive in tis family wif presure!!!

why she like tat wan?

hate her...
always think tat she is the biggest...
halo u are juz 13 wqat biggest...
even u very pretty oso nt as pretty as other ppl la...
y u so perasan 1?
u noe i now very angry u de la...
some more wan sze they all oso dun like u la no brain...
oni u think they frez wif u...
2day wan borrow our book?
go die la...
u go ask selina they all 2 find ppl wan beat us some more 1 borrow our book...
u really no brain...
in our class no1 like u la...
u think u leng lui thn every1 like...
i tell u arhxx...
wan sze, me n wen li oso more leng lui than u...
u leh???
very big la i noe...
u noe now we are nt frez edi la...
bcuz tat day ur selina loh...
nt we wan hate u...
if tat day u stop her tell tat time when u c!!!
we now r at lease still frez...
u dun simply say thing 2 selina they all...
after if they really find me i go tell my kai jie thn u sure mati liao...
buang sekolah...
haha...
hate u 4eva de "best friend"
dun 4get wat i say here...
PERASAN GIRL!!!

time juz goes...

time juz goes like tat...

very fast oct edi...

haixx...

i oso duno how i get into oct...

oct edi la...

wan exam edi...

how?

wan die edi...

no chance juz gt 2 read book...

dun read can die...

if time can wait for me i sure will dance until crazy oni read book...

i juz like dancing...

no1 can stop me...

i alsoi dunno y...

now i 1 day no go oni very bord edi de...

haix...

mayb bcuz tat is the way...

duno...

in the future i will be wat i oso duno...

but i already think properly edi...

duno if he let...

haixx...

Anak Malaysia replay!!!

YES!!!
Anak Malaysia replay!!!
haha
very happy...
this time somemore without my sis...
haha....
without my sis i will be very peaceful...
hate her...
always make noise here n there...
now without her i happy hapy lo!!!
haha....
but anak m'sia repeat i lagi happy thn without her...
yeah!!!
but the prob is...
the ppl is nt enough like tat...
oni gt 4 ppl when i last noe...
now i still duno...
2nite i go n c c gt enough ppl a not...
if no enough ppl i scare they will cancel our part...
very scare leh...
duno will tat happen...
mostly no gua...
cuz if no us they will nt enough ppl de...
haha...
i think i think 2 much edi...
without us they really wat oso cannot do de...
so they wun cancel us de...
the most is add new de ppl oni...
c 1st la...
next week practice oni say how la...
c how mah lao shi decide...
he wat oso can think of de...
including cancel us...
duno la...
if 1 cancel thn mayb next year we oso no chance 2 go up stage edi...
T^T
sad...
hope he no cancel la...
hehe gud luck lo Low Jun Lee...

some boring holidays...

YEAH!!!Is holiday again!!!
holiday...
boring time...
i boring til everyday play computer edi still so boring...
read book...
wanna sleep...
something else oso..
stupid liew zi qing make me mad n mad...
grr...
hate her...
holidays really bord...
my sis not bord at all duno why...
crazy jor...
^o^
oni bord...
mayb cuz they still small la...
big de 2 big oso...
oni me in the hse medium medium de...
hehe...
duno leh hor?
bord means bord la...
no excuses...
read book oso can bord...
play com oso can bord...
duno do wat oni no bord..
oni thing is meet frez...
hehe...
ballet frez...
happy!!!
hehe
HARI RAYA still gt many more days holiday...
n oso many more days 2 sleep...
haha...
many more days 2 play...
many more book 2 read 2!! T^T
my sis no read bok oso can de...
i no read bok cannot de...
T^T
very ke lian de me...
haix...
holiday like tat de la...
go skul oso like tat de la...
no chance...
tis is my life...
my life sure can change de by myself...
^o^
HAPPYHOLIDAY EVERYBODY!!!

HATE LIEW ZI QING!!!

HATE!!!!HATE!!!HATE HER!!!
HATE LIEW ZI QING!!!
She wanna noe why i hate her can...
ask her ownselve ask la if u all really her frez...
help her ask is oso nt a way...
The only way tat i wan is:
1) ask her ownself ask
tat is only the 1st step
the thing is going 2 be more n more complicated...
if she ask herself i mayb will nt b so angry...
instead she ask her frez 2 help her make me more angry...
i duno her edi la...
if she 1 2 b frez bac wif me she muz change her atitude...
instead of i say sorry 2 her she muz say sory 2 me...
the way she treat me b4 i really angry...
haixx...
i really very sad the way u behave...
u muz change...
change...
change is the oni way 4 u now...
please wake up...
u r not small edi...
please la...

dancing is really life for me...

Dancing is a very fun thing for me...
Sometimes...
I really want to dance...
but...
my dancing skills...
i only have ballet dancing skill...
haixx...
dancing have many kind of dance...
i duno which kind of dance i like...
Ballet?can but quiet bord edi...
Contempt?something like tat...
Latin? NO WAY!!!
I like the dance tat the professional dancers dance...
which is contempt+ little drama inside oso...
I like that...
i also wish 2 have somechance to be like them...
duno why my dad just say no...
haixx...
i vary sad...
sometimes i am thinking than if i cannot take tat as a job when i grow up what will i be?
a accountant like him?NO WAY!!!
a teacher?I hate book.
a manager?lagi teruk.
all i want is just a professional dancer...
that is my life means it is my choice...
just give me that chance...
PLEASE!!!
i like dancing...
dancing can express myself...
u want me stick on book is very difficult thing...
although i have bad result on study doesn't mean tat i cannot be other thing else...
i am nt useless...
yes, i am useless in the house, in study but not in dancing...
it really represent my life...
after those years of money i think tat is better i be a profesional dancer...
altough it can only earn very little but for me it is fun...
fun means i am happy wif it...
dancing will not get away from me and i will not get away from dancing...
^^

Allergic!!!

ALLERGIC!!!
The day before yesterday already start allergic already...
tat is after teakwondo...
dunno why whole body sweating...
but i didn't care it so i go n cook my maggi mee!!!
after eating start feeling ichiness...
so went 2 bath...
no use...
so i sleep lor...(2 ichi)
wake up my my body like all mosqitue bite...
so i scartch...
no choice 2 ichi...
i ask dad bring me go c doctor lor...
the doctor gib medicine so i go home eat...
nt so ichi edi...
next day...
lagi teruk...
tis time dad come bac from work he is the 1 hu ask me 2 go doctor...
so go doctor lur...
the doctor gib me injection :(...(very pain)
thn he add medicine...
till now still pain the inject...
but the allergic ok litle la...
hehe
pain oso nvm lo tis way...
^ o^...

school close!!!

OMG!!!
My school close!!!
hate it...
there is nothing to do other than day dreaming...
besides that...
have to go to school on the august holiday...
haixx...
this means that got holiday equal to no holiday...
grrr...
very angry of those people...
ask them dun go other country also cannot...
make until Malaysia also kenna...
now every part of Malaysia also kenna...
HATE!HATE!HATE!
Now do until my school also got ...
Hate!Hate them!

一场怪梦

今天，我起早把早就起来玩电脑。。。
我玩到有一点累了上床睡觉。。。
不知不觉我进入了梦乡里。。。
我梦到楼上的哥哥姐姐刚刚表演完。。。
然后我突然想到大马新传重演的事。。。
于是，我跑去他们休息的地方问念珊姐姐：“大马新传是不是会重演？”
她第一次答我说：“没有啊！”
我听了吓了一跳。。。
他再努力地想。。。
然后跟我说：“哦！对了！有！大马新传又重新演过！不过。。。你们青少年只演后面行李那一段。。。”
我原本听到前面的有时很开心听到后面时又被吓到。。。
我问她：“真的吗？”
她恩一声。。。
我听了感到很失望。。。
我就这样带着失望的心情走了。。。
走到一半。。。
我看到妹妹。。。
我转回头却又看不到她了。。。
我就走回我要走的路去。。。
突然。。。
我听到妹妹在叫我。。。
我转回头。。
看到她带着一个人。。。
我又看一下那个人。。。
我很熟她却又不知在哪里见过她。。。
看几下才知道是彭老师来的。。。
就这样我醒来了。。。

大马新传的最后一天

昨天是大马新传的最后一天。。。
我们大的都很不舍得。。。
唉。。。
真希望大马新传回再来一次。。。
想到是最后一天大得真的很不舍得。。。
昨天超过一半都哭。。。
我看了心酸。。。
像一次过把泪流出来。。。
却忍着泪。。。
能跟他们这一班专业舞团跳我真的很高兴。。。
我很希望以后能在和他们一起跳舞。。。
惟有的方法是靠我的梦想了。。。
我的梦想也就需要我的爸爸的允许才行。。。
唉。。。
我刚刚才知道。。。
每一样东西都有结束的一天。。。
昨晚。。。
听我朋友说。。。
大马新传会重演呢！！！
我听了很开心。。。
但心里还在挣扎。。。
明年。。。
他会不会在选我呢？
应该会吧。。。
希望会吧。。。
我很想再次和他们在一起跳舞。。。
就等明年吧！！！
如果我明年没有机会我怎得会很伤心。。。
也许。。。
我的梦想就只能靠表演来证明自己是行的。。。
也可以让爸爸从我的表演中看到自己的女儿的梦想。。。
是真的。。。
我会成为一个专业舞蹈者。。。
你们等我吧！！！
多等几年而已。。。
很快的。。。
我会做到的。。。
一定做到的。。。
我可以证明给我爸爸。。。
我真的是爱上跳舞了。。。

suddenly,i feel i like dancing but nt ballet

All of the sudden...
i feel that i wil be happy if my job is professional dancer...
i look at those professional dancers dancing so nice...
i really wanna be a professional dancer...
but 2 bad...
my luck is no gud...
my dad will nt let me do tat as a job...
haixx...
if only i can prove to him that i really hope 2 be a profesional dancer...
i saw them dancing yesterday...
they laugh until very happy then they can start act 2 cry...
so professional...
haixx...
if only god will give me that chance 2 be a proffesional dancer...
i really hope 2 be 1 of them...
and i can dance like them....
yesterday...
the teacher ask us to dance like very poor,very hungry,kenna virus like tat...
when i act with the music...
i only realize that crying is not difficult if u really get into the music...
even laughing...
we juz muz get into music n dance...
it is nt hard at all...
the music controls us nt we control the music...
the music bring us into the dance not we dance ourselves...
music is important...
we get feeling from it...
it is easy 2 get feeling from the music if we juz concentrate on the music...
but for ballet...
no!!!
music cannot controll us...
we muz control music...
i dunno y...
i think is bcuz it is hard in ballet when the music is soft we nit still 2 have smiling faces...
all of the sudden i juz hope 2 dance not juz ballet...
is normal dance...
like those proffesional dancers...
if only i can b 1 of them...
if i have that chance i will never let it go...
even if i dun have that chance will not give up so easily...
i will ask n ask him...
juz dono y he dun let...
dancing is already part of my life...
reading book 4 me is zero....
even if u ask me 2 read book i will read....
but i will use another way 2 ask u...
keke...
that is if u wan me 2 read book u muz let me be a proffesional dancer...
i will wait for ur ans...
dancing is already part of my life i cannot let it go so easily...

FREINDSHIP???

友谊值得相信吗？
前几天。。。
我跟我朋友在一起。。。
没想到。。。
他们竟然抛弃我在一边。。。
根本没有一个人肯陪我。。。
我很伤心。。。
以前我跟他们不是这样的。。。
不知怎的。。。
我们去吃炮兵。。。
两个去买东西不让我去。。。
其他四个又在那边拍拖。。。
我一个人坐在sofa上。。
不知道他们是不是生气我。。。
我真的不知道我又没有错。。。
今天。。。
我说我要跟他们去诳街。。。
我觉得她们有点不爽我。。。
最终还是给我去。。。
不过要我ponteng teakwando。。。
我说算了。。。
就这样。。。
不知道他们是否不爽我。。。
我觉得她们越来越过分了。。。
唱歌比赛又要我去。。。
又在讲我的鼻音。。。
我不断地想。。。
我的鼻音并没有他那么重为什么就只针对我一个人。。。
很过分裂！！！
爱算了吧！！！
反正都要当朋友。。。
就只能任咯~~